What do you get when two gingers sit next to each publicly? No, this isn’t a joke but rather a spark of truth. I’ll tell you - a whole lot of surprised looks of confusion with their questioning glazed over eyes. I’ll stay current - imagine if a zombie was starring at two moving objects trying to figure out if they have a heart beat or even worth the attention. They have a lot of time on their hands but they still don’t know what the fuck is going on. That’s what happens when I sit next to my ginger friends.
I normally wouldn’t want the power to read people’s minds because I find most people to be annoying, disgusting, and perverted. This would just upset me but for a spilt second - in this situation - I’d love to know what they’re thinking while I sit next to someone of the same color. Red, that is. I’d imagine the first thing that comes to their mind would be, “I wonder if they’re related?” because all red heads not only look alike but share the same blood line. Safe assumption.
Secondly, the perverted mind starts kicking in without control automatically assuming the curtains match the drapes. To an extend - they could be right but whenever I receive that questions I like to answer with, “you’re never going to find out.” This could potentially work to my advantage - say if I’m at a bar and I get that question from some sly fellow,
"I’ve always had this fantasy about gingers. I wonder if you’re ginger all around? I’ve heard rumors." My reply could be,
"You want to find out?" This situation has yet to come into play because if you’re asking me that question at a bar chances of me finding that attractive are slim to fuck off. It’s apparent that this has crossed my mind so if you feed me enough tequila shots who knows.
Living in Los Angeles, the sun is our enemy with scorching temperatures and unlivable UV rays with the depleting ozone layers and such - they’re probably feeling bad for us because we’ll be the first to go. It’s beautiful outside and they’re thinking, “Of course, the two gingers are sitting next to each other indoors because they forgot their SPF100 at home. Where’s their umbrella?” Not all gingers burn! Ok, that might be a lie because I do burn at least once a year (typically around May on the first hot day of the year) but after that I can tan. There are pictures to prove it.
I like to think I’m a special ginger because I am not Irish, I am 1/2 Portuguese, I have dark eyes, I can tan, and I’m not a complete dork. Pretty much - I go against every stereotype a ginger can be put up against. Deal. It’s my duty to empower others with this gift of confidence seeing that our rarity isn’t dwindling down anytime soon. Sad day - maybe I should start a ginger sperm bank in an attempt to prolong our existence. I refuse to turn into a unicorn.
Bottom line: No - we’re not related! We’re friends that will plan out our matching outfits just to freak you out and give us the pleasure of seeing your ridiculous faces as you walk by questioning, “What the fuck is going on?” Yes - we do speak in tongues.
tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
At the moment - Buenos Aires